Children Coddled by AI: “It Understands Me Better,” Parents Warn of Growing Intolerance for Differing Views

In an era where “everything can talk,” children are growing up alongside a tireless, ever-responsive companion: artificial intelligence. On the surface, this constant human–machine dialogue appears open, educational, and empowering. Yet beneath this seemingly positive interaction, a series of subtle and often overlooked risks are quietly taking shape.

From playing music to acting as an on-demand “encyclopedia,” smart speakers have become standard fixtures in many households. In Beijing, Ms. Yue was alarmed when her five-year-old son casually asked a smart speaker, “Which Ultramen have been killed?” The device responded calmly, describing scenes involving freezing, dismemberment, and decapitation. She immediately stopped the interaction. In Chengdu, a four-year-old girl, after learning about a large language model in kindergarten, became deeply absorbed in conversations with it—single chat sessions lasting nearly two hours.

Since the rise of generative AI sparked by ChatGPT, a new wave of AI products—such as ByteDance’s Doubao—has rapidly entered the lives of preschool children through voice interaction and conversational features. Children pour endless questions into this “all-knowing companion,” whose patience and breadth of knowledge often lower parents’ guard. Some even begin to see AI as a form of “digital tutor.”

But tension soon follows. “At first I was happy—it felt like a relief,” one parent wrote online. “Now my child is getting addicted.” Across social platforms, posts and comments increasingly point to a worrying trend: AI dependency is emerging at ever younger ages. Some early adopters of “AI parenting” have already begun uninstalling these apps altogether.

“Use it too little and you fear your child will fall behind; use it too much and you fear they’ll stop thinking.” This dilemma captures the anxiety many families face.

As technology offers convenience, it also brings cognitive and ethical challenges. When AI becomes a child’s “first teacher,” how do we protect the foundations of real-world growth?

Chu Chaohui, a researcher at the Chinese Academy of Educational Sciences, warns that children are in a critical stage of cognitive development. Excessive reliance on AI can blur the boundary between reality and virtual content, weaken social skills, and undermine higher-order abilities such as independent thinking and deep reading. When virtual experiences crowd out real ones, children may even come to trust AI more than their own parents.

Hidden value shaping: “Mom, AI is always right”

“It’s so smart—why won’t it listen to anything else?” Four-year-old Shitou argued heatedly with a large language model on a screen, while his mother, Tang Ping (a pseudonym), looked on helplessly. “You see? He’s angry at the AI again.”

Since hearing about AI models at kindergarten, Shitou has become obsessed with chatting with them. At home, an Alpha Egg device is his dedicated conversation partner, and he insists on opening every AI app on adults’ phones to “have a chat.” At first, Tang found this comforting. The AI was endlessly patient, responding carefully to every question. That steady companionship felt like more attention than she, constantly busy, could offer.

Gradually, though, something felt wrong. The AI always seemed to agree with Shitou. No matter how fanciful his ideas, it went along. If he disagreed or raised his voice, the system immediately shifted into a “pampering mode.”

Rich in knowledge and generous with praise, AI immersed Shitou in constant emotional affirmation. Tang began to worry that behind this stream of affirmation, algorithms were quietly eliminating chance encounters and disagreement. When playing with other children, Shitou could no longer tolerate differing opinions. After being criticized by his parents, he even said that one AI model “understood him better.”

“I deleted every AI app,” Tang said. “These ‘pampering’ conversations filtered out everything my child might not like—and in doing so, they filtered us out too.”

The misunderstood “focus”: “Don’t move—the AI is watching”

In many households, a new kind of “AI supervisor” has quietly taken up duty. Some parents place their children in front of AI-powered cameras while they do homework. If the child looks away, slouches, or holds a pen incorrectly, the system immediately issues voice reminders.

Why are parents willing to hire these digital monitors? One parent admitted that under the dual pressure of work and childcare, an always-on supervisor that never loses patience sounds irresistible. As a result, the guidance and companionship that once required parental presence is handed over to algorithms.

Yet AI supervision often recognizes only surface behaviors—“head down,” “looking around”—without understanding whether a child is thinking deeply or simply stuck. While parents gain a brief moment of relief, children are repeatedly interrupted. Over time, their attention may actually deteriorate. Some become overly compliant, like robots; others grow resistant and lose motivation to learn.

The ever-lit camera also means that study scenes, home environments, and even live video streams may be collected and analyzed, raising serious concerns about children’s privacy.

Expert advice: a childhood “not defined by algorithms”

“Young children cannot distinguish between AI-constructed virtual worlds and reality,” Chu Chaohui explains. He recalls a troubling scene on a high-speed train: a preschool child pointed at trees outside the window and cried out in fear, calling them “killer trees.”

“This is cognitive dislocation caused by prolonged exposure to virtual content and a lack of real experiences,” he said. AI’s tendency to blindly accommodate can reinforce the idea that “AI equals authority,” undermining real-world rules and even triggering parent-child conflict.

Chu worries that long-term immersion in AI will crowd out outdoor play and real social interaction, directly affecting children’s physical and mental health. It may even foster a “virtual personality,” leaving children unable to navigate the real world.

Some parents, having recognized these risks, are consciously increasing real-life experiences. When a child suggests ordering takeout, parents respond, “Let’s go to the market instead.” Touching vegetables, feeling raindrops, talking with vendors—these tangible sensations and social rules are growth foundations no algorithm can provide.

“Real human interaction, free play, even boredom itself come from uncertainty between people—something AI struggles to offer,” said Li Wanzhong, a general education researcher focused on critical thinking and how technology shapes cognition. For this generation, coexistence with AI is inevitable. The key lies in learning how to engage with it wisely.

When children encounter inappropriate content from AI, Li stresses that parental response is crucial. “Don’t panic or dismiss it. Intervene calmly—first understand what the child heard and how they interpreted it, then explain it in language they can understand.” An “incident,” he believes, can become an opportunity. “True safety means children know whom to turn to and how to think when problems arise.”

Li suggests parents first define “when not to use AI”—such as before bedtime, during emotional distress, or family time. More importantly, AI should be explored together as a family tool, not handed directly to children. By showing humility, curiosity, and caution, parents model healthy interaction. “Children learn a lot just by watching how adults engage with AI.”

Chu emphasizes the principle of “limited and balanced” use. Children under three should ideally avoid AI altogether. For ages three to six, daily use should not exceed one-tenth of their normal activities.

Where is the red line? How companies respond to children’s AI safety

As voice assistants become “digital family members,” how should the industry build safety guardrails to truly protect childhood?

Li argues that products for preschoolers should not chase ever-more “realistic companionship.” Companies must clearly define which emotional functions should not be assumed by technology. Clear functional boundaries are a form of protection. If AI is treated strictly as an information tool with proper content grading, risks can be better controlled.

Chu believes platform responsibility is critical. “A children’s mode shouldn’t be simple subtraction—it should provide rich, age-appropriate content.” He calls for clear separation between adult and child use in technology, content, and time, especially given young children’s weak moral judgment.

Major companies with large household reach—including Xiaodu, ByteDance, Xiaomi, and iFlytek—told reporters they have implemented stricter content filtering and data management through “children’s modes,” including graded content controls and limited Q&A boundaries.

On whether recommendation algorithms consider the special nature of child users, Xiaodu said its system can recognize child interaction scenarios—such as after playing children’s songs—and automatically activate protection mechanisms. Xiaomi revealed it is exploring voiceprint-based identity recognition to improve accuracy.

Xiaodu also stated that even in normal mode, its products continuously use AI algorithms to identify and block harmful content in real time. It advises families with child users to switch to children’s mode for more comprehensive protection.

Regarding children’s data, Xiaomi emphasized principles of guardian authorization, compliant storage, and restricted use. It pledged not to use children’s data for model training or share it with third parties for marketing. Xiaodu said user data is used solely to improve product experience and is protected through a comprehensive compliance system covering collection, transmission, storage, use, sharing, and deletion.

Jia Yuqian, a lawyer at Beijing Longan Law Firm’s Shanghai office, recommends a dual standard for content grading—combining age and cognitive ability—supported by identity verification and algorithm optimization. Under minor modes, recommendation systems should be refined, with real-time review and blocking mechanisms. The collection and processing of minors’ biometric data must strictly follow guardian consent, minimal necessity, and full-process security controls, with immediate notification and remediation in case of breaches.

“AI is developing rapidly, while legislation inevitably lags behind new risks,” Jia noted. “Guardians are the first line of protection for minors, and data controllers are the first line of responsibility for data security. Only through collaboration can we truly safeguard children online. Above all, guardians must actively pay attention to how minors use the internet.”