Soya Xu Suxuan Releases Another Tearjerker “I Once Pretended I Didn’t Hurt” — Revealing the Raw Emotions of Being Hopelessly in Love

(Kuala Lumpur, March 27) Malaysian content creator-turned-singer Soya Xu Suxuan (Soya), who gained attention earlier this year with her single Red String, has released a new track titled I Pretended I Wasn’t Hurt, offering a deeply personal reflection on her past relationships.

Co-composed with producer Zhang Weihong, the song features lyrics written entirely by Soya herself. She described the track as both an acknowledgment of her emotional state at the time and a record of personal growth.

“I wanted love so badly that even when the relationship was falling apart, I believed that giving just a little more would make them stay,” she shared.

Soya admitted that she once tied her self-worth to whether she was loved, a realization that took her a long time to confront. She also reflected on why people often make seemingly irrational decisions in relationships, later understanding it as a form of emotional “addiction,” where one keeps hoping, waiting, and giving in exchange for the possibility of being chosen.

Rather than a conventional breakup song, I Pretended I Wasn’t Hurt explores themes of emotional suppression and self-deception—portraying the reality of being hurt while pretending everything is fine. The recurring motifs of denial and restraint form the emotional core of the song.

Soya described the track as a letter to those still healing. In an era of fast-paced relationships, she chooses to confront pain honestly and translate unspoken emotions into music.

Having gone through this experience, she has also redefined what it means to be “overly invested in love.” “It’s not a negative trait,” she said. “It means we are capable of deep love, empathy, and commitment. The problem only arises when we lose our boundaries.”

Musically, Soya continues to demonstrate her versatility, using simple yet precise language to capture complex emotional layers—creating a listening experience that resonates on both a melodic and emotional level.